Deep Thoughts by KayDubs

Ok, so I realize that my far-too-frequent posts may make it seem like I don't have much of a life... but that's because I don't.

I do, however, have a lot of thoughts that need to get out, and I guess I'm sort of starting to understand the benefits of an online journal - when I write it all down in my own little book, nobody responds, and it just sits there.

I find it really interesting that as kids, we just wait to grow up. We count down the years until we can get our ears pierced, our curfews later, our drivers licenses, our first dates, until we finish high school, until we can be in college, until we can drink, until we can live on our own, until we can pursue our careers. And now we're here, and we - well, at least I - just don't want to grow up. I don't want my career yet. I like it much better when it's some wonderful idea for the distant future. I don't want to live on my own. I like living in a dorm with some of my friends down the hall and the rest less than a five minute's walk away. I miss my friends. I miss calling myself a college student. I miss Williams Street Mix rehearsals and beirut nights and the ability to put on a play whenever I want. I miss getting a little too drunk for a Monday night and I miss making last-minute dinner plans with some of my favorite people. I just don't want to be done. I don't want to be an adult yet. I'm too busy being in the preparing-for-my-future phase to actually be in the future.